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Bebe Neuwirth



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Bebe Neuwirth

I Know a Girl

Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

Can you believe it?
I mean, can you believe?
I know a girl
A girl who lands on top
You could put her face into a pail of
slop
And she'd come up smelling like a rose
How she does it, heaven knows.

Reporter. (spoken)
Hold on, she's comin' out now. well, doc, is she or isn't she?

Velma.
She is.

Reporter.
She is!!!

Velma. (sung)
I know a girl
A girl with so much luck
She could get run over by a ten-ton
truck
Then brush herself off and walk away
How she does it, couldn't say

Billy. (spoken)
Doc, would you swear to that state men in court.

Doctor. yes

Billy. good. . . uh. . . button your fly

Velma. (sung)
Whilst I
On the other hand
Put my face in a pail of slop
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And I would smell like a pail of slop
I
On the other hand
Get run over by a truck
And I am deader than a duck

I know a girl
Who tells so many lies
Anything that's true
Would truly cross her eyes
But what that mouse is selling
The whole world buys
And nobody smells a rat.

Roxie. (spoken.) please, ladies and gentlemen of the
Press-leave the two of us alone so we can rest.
Velma (spoken.) the two of us?? (sung.)
Can you imagine?
I mean, can you imagine?

Reporter. (spoken.) could I have one last picture please?
Roxie. oh sure anything for the press.

Velma (sung.)
Do you believe it?
I mean do you believe it?

Roxie.
My dear little baby
Velma (sung, mocking Roxie)
My dear little baby

Roxie.
My sweet little baby

Velma
My sweet little . . . baby...