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Jack

i couldn't be bothered putting clothes on after the shower
so i sat down naked and dripping on this chair
when it is damp later i'll wonder why

i'll wonder why
why the wine bottle was half full last night
but by morning it was half empty

i had a glass half full night out
and a glass half empty hangover

he gave me a plastic cup of water before i slept
and a fresh one when i woke
he gave me vitamin B, and chocolate while i told him about heartbreak
and in the morning he gave me a stern lecture
about why you shouldn't text boys back

i kissed him goodnight last night for the first time
maybe the last time
i didn't know how else to physicalize how much love i felt

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how to physicalize the physical lies of a glass half full friendship
in a glass half empty situation
i said i'd drive him to the airport
i don't know how i'll walk away
i don't know how i'll leave alone
it'll be like forgetting a part of me on the baggage carrier
going round in circles
unable to stop

i will cry into chocolate and vitamin B
i will drink vodka that tastes like his shoulder blade
i will write poems in the shapes of his laughter
and i will try to keep my bed half full
but without him my bed will always be half empty
i never believed in the phrase 'other half'
always feeling like i was complete on my own
but my best friend is leaving this country
and without him
nowhere feels like home