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Secret Grief



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Secret Grief

Daisy

Just two blocks west
I sit inside of my new house thinking of when
I was a wreck
And could barely even get myself out of bed
The time that I spent
Dealing with emotions that I hardly knew that I had
Is better than now
Because lately I can't find anything to care about

Time affects me more than place
I'm always trying much too hard to recreate
A feeling or general mood but never can
Even under what I thought was perfect circumstance

My thoughts get so messed up when
I can't get the past out of my head
Feels like I am addicted to suffering
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Isn't it strange
How one simple thought can get your mind thinking
Of some old thing
And suddenly you want it back more than anything
Now I just crave
All the things that remind me of that emotional state
It's my only way
To fill up the emptiness that is swallowing me

Time's a broken picture frame that sits unfixed

I thought to myself
Wouldn't life be easier if I could pretend
That for one day I don't need pain?