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Spanish Love Songs
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Dying
I always see myself dying--
A void that I can't bring myself back from the edge of
Lying alone in my apartment waiting to be found.
Imagining a car crash, but it'll probably be a heart attack.
And sometimes I wish that I could shoot up,
and slowly disappear.
I see myself fading out.
Crushing disappointment of how
I've wasted a quarter of a century
worried about how much time I've been wasting.
Imagine something greater than just being
a waiter or a failure.
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And everyone since I was three has expected only the best of me.
Stop me if you think I'm all wrong.
Stay here if you could just lie to me through the night.
Tell me I'm not doing it wrong.
Even when I'm not doing anything right.
I am child thrown in the deep end and I can't swim.
I swear I'm a liar hanging on every word you lament.
I think I'm a coward -- I wasted a year in your embrace.
I'll stick my head in a microwave to try and rid myself of the taste.
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