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Painful Reminder



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Painful Reminder

Growing to Hate

One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
I measure them out as I walk everywhere
Don't step on a crack, don't wander away
Don't talk 'til the teacher has nothing left to say
One step, two steps in a sidewalk square
A demon of belittlement had followed me there
I cried out, so desperate for someone to care
But people will rape them if you lay your feelings bare

don't step- don't speak-

One step alone in each sidewalk section
I learn painful lessons of love and rejection

I hid my head when all the children said I'd failed their little tests
I held a guilt trip for the moments
I thought I knew what was best for me
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I thought I'd never be as good as them in their own eyes
And I was right, absolutely right.

Walking alone, don't know where my steps fall in the sections
I'm pissed off and impervious to all forms of correction
The people I depend on for an air of acceptance
Have left me instead with the stench of their own arrogance

My steps will no longer fit in the lines
Self-doubt and self-hatred are all left behind
Rudely ignoring now all the cracks in my way
I'm glad I don't give a fuck what anybody else has to say

My steps will no longer fit in the lines