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Original West End Cast
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Terminal Illness
Archie, I have major news!
I have a plan
I have a plan
So you and Kendra can go out on Friday night
Ooh!
I need your help, though, so stay calm
You need to go talk to my mom
And it'll all come true
Because
No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Take it from me, it's a sure guarantee of success
Listen, I'm not making fun of your terminal illness
But you hold the secret to getting my mom to say yes
So talk to my mom, and get her to buy the tickets we need to obtain
Brett gets his movie, I get the credit, and you get your date, so who could complain?
Except for you because your dying, but
No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Who could refuse when you shuffle your shoes and say please?
Use all the tricks that you learned in your cradle
You don't need to lay it on thick with a ladle
Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease!
I can do this!
I know you can!
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Mrs. Goldman, I hate to bother you, but I was strolling through the neighborhood'
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
Which wouldn't be so bad, if it weren't my birthday on Friday, but the insurance doesn't cover...
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
I could always pay you for the tickets if I don't get my medicine next month'
La, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
And you know, I've always felt this kinship with the Jewish people'
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And out of the blue
A thought comes to you
Like sun coming out from the rain
And after the stress
My mother says--
Yes!
Yes!
Evan & Archie:
We're all set for Friday
So who could complain
Except for you because you're Jewish and you always complain
It's true!
Evan & Archie:
But no one says no to a boy with a terminal illness
Ask for a day at the mall or a trip to Belize
Nothing's to hard and no quest unendurable
Long as your sure you're completely incurable
Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!
I never thought he'd take the bait
This is great, Evan Goldman
Evan Goldman!
All hail the brain!
I did what no one else could do
Tell me who could complain?
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!
All hail the brain!
All hail the brain
All hail the brain!
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