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Inspection 12
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Again
Who do you think you are?
On what is your answer based?
Be careful because everything can change.
In a matter of seconds all of your recollections
might become all that you've got left.
It feels like fear.
Like someone slapped me in the face
and then punched me in the stomach.
My security: erased.
It's like alone when one's habitual impulse
has no subject, no object. Just a wrist without a pulse.
And I want to do it all again.
Dumbstruck and disenchanted -
I won't take anything for granted.
That was the worst mistake I made.
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Harmless remarks, for example these:
'Wet behind the ears' and 'Weak at the knees';
They never seemed that harsh - a simple call for concern.
But now they hurt so much. It's the hardest way to learn.
Promise, whatever happens, you won't take your ambition
and put it all into his mouth.
There are some days I can't get out of bed because
when I'm awake I'm reminded of what it's like without you.
But every other second passes
and I'm expected to be some paragon of strength.
Well, let's hope I make it through this week.
And I'm gonna do it all again
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