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Leonard Bernstein



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Leonard Bernstein

West Side Story: Gee, Officer Krupke

Krupke:Hey you!
Action:Who, me Officer Krupke?
Krupke:Yeah, you. Gimme one good reason
for not draggin' you down to the station,
ya punk!

Dear...
Kindly Sergeant Krupke,
You've gotta understand
it's just our bringin' upke
that gets us out of hand.
Our mothers all are junkies,
our fathers all are drunks.
Golly! Moses!
Naturally we're punks!

Gee Officer Krupke,
we're very upset.
We never had the love
that every child oughtta get.
We ain't no delinquents
we're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us
there is good.
(There is good!)
There is good!
There is good!
There is untapped good!
Like inside the worst of us is good!

Jet: Aww, that such a good story!
Action: Lemme tell it to the world!
Krupke: Just tell it to the judge.

Dear...
Kindly Judge your Honor,
My parents treat me rough.
With all their marijuana,
they won't give me a puff.
They didn't wanna have me
but somehow I was had.
Leapin' lizards!
That's why I'm so bad!

Right!
Officer Krupke
you're really a square.
This boy don't need a judge
he needs an analyst's care.
It's just his neurosis
that oughtta be curbed.
He's psychologically disturbed!
(I'm disturbed!)
We're disturbed!
We're disturbed!
We're the most disturbed!
Like we're psychologically disturbed!

Judge: Hear ye! Hear ye!
In the opinion of this court
this child is depraved
on account he ain't had a normal home.
Action: Hey! I'm depraved on account I'm deprived.
Judge: So take him to a head shrinker!

My...
Father is a bastard,
my ma's an S.O.B.
My grandpa's always plastered,
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my grandma pushes tea.
My sister wears a mustache,
my brother wears a dress.
Goodness gracious!
That's why I'm a mess!

Yes!
Officer Krupke
you're really a slob.
This boy don't need a doctor
just a good honest job.
Society's played him
a terrible trick,
and sociologically he's sick!
(I am sick!)
We are sick!
We are sick!
We are sick! Sick! Sick!
Like we're sociologically sick!

Shrink: In my opinion,
this child does not need to have
his head shrunken at all.
Juvenile deliquencey is purely a social disease.
Action: Hey! I've got a social disease!
Shrink: So take him to a social worker!

Dear...
Kindly social worker,
They say go earn a buck,
like be a soda jerker,
which means like be a shmuck.
It's not I'm anti-social,
I'm only anti-work.
Gloryosky! That's why I'm a jerk!

Eek!
Officer Krupke
you've done it again.
This boy don't need a job
he needs a year in the pen!
It ain't a just a question
of misunderstood,
deep down inside him he's no good!
(I'm no good!)
We're no good!
We're no good!
We're no earthly good!
Like the best of us is no damn good!

The trouble is he's crazy!
The trouble is he drinks!
The trouble is he's lazy!
The trouble is he stinks!
The trouble is he's growing!
The trouble is he's grown!
Krupke, we've got troubles of our own!

Gee Officer Krupke,
We're down on our knees
'cause no one wants a fellow
with a social disease.
Gee Officer Krupke,
What are we to do?
Gee Officer Krupke!
Krup you!