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Stephen Lynch
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Super Hero
If I could be a super hero
I would be
Awesome Man
I'd fly around the world fighting crime
according to my
Awesome plan
And if I saw criminals trying to lie
Hurting other people and making them cry
I'd haul them off to jail in my aw-some-van.
'Cause I would be
Aw-some-man
Now, kids, some criminals want you to be a criminal too and they offer you things like drugs and alcohol. Well we know what to do, kids. We just say 'No'.
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If I could be a super hero
I would be
Drug Free Boy
Telling the world of the evils of drugs
And all of the lives they destroy
Well I'd take all the junki-ies getting so high
With their needles and bongs and their sticks made of ti
As I burn them alive I would squeel with joy
'Cause I would be drug free boy
[Insert clever whistling part here]
If I could be a super hero
I'd be immagration dude
I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes
For eating up all of our food
And taking our wellfare and best jobs to boot
Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
I'd pass a lot of laws to get rid of their broot
'Cause Id be immagration dude
Kids, you can make up your very own super hero. If you could... who would it be?
If I could be a super hero
Would you be
Justice Guy?
Making sure people get what they deserve
Especialy women who lie
Like if a wife left her husband with three kids and no job
To run off to fuckin' Hawaii with some doctor named Bob
You could skin them and drain them of blood so they'd die
[Especialy bob]
Then you would be Justice Guy
Or you could be more suttle
Mo, I didnt mean to be veig
Give her the mad cow disease
Let him die of the plague
As long as they suffer for their terrible lie
[Especialy bob]
Then you would be Justice Guy
Yes then you would be
A Super Hero like me
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