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My Pathetic Past
作詞：Brent Belke, Marc Belke, Ken Chinn, Robert Arthur Johnson, David Anthony Rees
No prize for congeniality
Never knew popularity
This ugly stick had wished to one day
Become a swan always
Picked last for sports teams
Got cheated out of my wet dream
I missed out on teenage sex
Was too busy beating off to reader's digest
And I can't help but laugh at my pathetic past
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From now on things will be different
Every day will now be recess
Beaten up by football jocks
Forced to hide in toilet stalls
Chased home by rabid dogs
I somehow survived it
A 'Kick me' sign taped to my back
Well I had to run out of my art class
Shit rolling out of my slacks
Chasing me down the stairwell
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