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Courtney Parker



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Courtney Parker

tell Me Why

just an average girl
she always wore a smile
she was cheerful and happy for a short while
now she's older things are getting colder
she's lost with what she thought
she wished someone had told her
she told you she was down you let it slip by
so from then on she kept it on the inside
she told herself she was alright
but she was telling white lies cant you see
look at her doll eyes
tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
but she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
summer came by
all she wore was long sleeves
because these cuts on her wrist were for noone to see
she knew she was depressed
didnt want to admit it
didnt think she would to anyone who seemed to miss it
she carried on like a soldier with a battlewound
leading out for every cut her body consumed
she had no friends at school
all along she was sad
and if somebody wanted to know she would blame the cat
but these cuts on her wrist they were no mistake
and noone cared enough to self her from herself hey
things were going down never really up
and here she is now stuck in this stupid crap
she knew exactly that she had to do it now
she's standing on a chair tying a rope around her neck
she wrote a letter with her hands shaking wild
look at me now are you proud of your precious job
but she knew that her parents weren't the ones to blame
it was the world that she found out was hate and shame
she stood up on the chair and looked down at the moon
she used to think it'll all be over soon
the chair fell down as she took her final breath
it's all over, all gone now she's greeting death
her mum walks til she falls down to the floor
and now nothing can take back what she just saw
the little girl that she raised is just hanging there
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her body's pale and her face is violently there
she sees the note and unfolds it with care
all she does is stare, how can this be fair
she starts reading as the tears roll down her face:
'I'm sorry mom but this world is just not my place
I've tried for so long to fux this and fit in
I've come to realize this world is full of sin
there's nothing for me here,
I'm just a waste of space
I've got no reason to stay here in this awful place.
It's a disgrace, I was misplaced,
born in the wrong time and in the wrong place.
It's okay though 'cause you'll see me soon
when your time has come just look at the moon
As it shines bright, throughout the night
and remember everyone's facing their own fight
but I can't deal with the pain I'm not a fighter
you'll make it through the night,
just hug your tighter
So let the world know that I died in vain
Because the water on me is the one to blame
and I know in a year you'll forget about
'cause I'm not really something to be dwelled on
that's what they used to tell me
all those kids at school
so I'm going by the law and join in the rules
My presence down on earth is not needed any longer
and if anything, I hope this makes you stronger
You are the best friend that I ever had
such a shame I had to make you so very sad
Just remember that you meant everything to me,
and to my heart you're the only one that held the key
Now it's time to go I'm running out of space to write
and yes I lost my fight
but please just hold on tight.
I'm watching over you from the clouds above
And turning down the purest and wildest god
to watch over you will make me half arise
and this is it world, goodbye