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The Scarlet Pimpernel



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The Scarlet Pimpernel

The Creation of Man

Peacocks!
Sink me!
Think ye, sir,
how those feathered males love to flaunt their tails!
Stallions!
Zounds, sir!
Hounds sir! Stags!
Of the goosie and the gander, sir
Which gender is the grander, sir
To render total candor, sir, the spendour is the male's!
Be an example to your sex
Give your boot a dapper strap
And it's smarter if your garter has some snap!
Cravats should be flounced about our necks
Though I do not mean to scrap
Any eunuch knows his tunic has to flap!
Now, strip the shirt! And pipe the skirt!
Embroider those lapels!
Be the king of the beasts in pastels!
La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
And that is why the Lord created men

Strut, sir!
What, sir?
Roosters do!
He who wears a coxcomb will never fail
Bucks! Bulls!
More, sir!
Boars, sir! Rams!
Of the nanny goat and billy, sir
Whose beard is fully wooly, sir?
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It's bully for the billy for he's willy-nilly male!

Sir, be a lion-hearted prig
Let me see that sleeve take flight!
In the summer, let my cummerbund have bite!
Be bold!
When it's cold, slap on that wig
Draw your breeches in quite tight
Even more so, and your torso will ignite
Now drape your cape! And puff your cuff!
I'll let my waistcoat swing!
And the jungle will bow to its king!
La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
And that is why the Lord created men

Adam was the gentleman in Eden
Though his body was admired
You will grant the adding of a fig leaf was inspired
If you're out to make a splash, cheri,
Do know your haberdashery!
Buttons, buckles, ruffles and lace
Represent the human race!

La, but someone has to strike a pose
And bear the weight of well-tailored clothes
Each species needs a sex that's fated
To be highly decorated
That is why the Lord created men