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Tom Lehrer
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Poisoning Pigeons In The Park (Tomfoolery)
Spring is here, spring is here
Life is skittles and life is beer
I think the loveliest time of the year
Is the spring, I do, don't you? Course you do
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me
And makes every Sunday a treat for me
All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me
As we poison the pigeons in the park
When they see us coming
The birdies all try and hide
But they still go for peanuts
When coated with cyanide
The sun's shining bright
Everything seems all right
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park
We've gained notoriety
And caused much anxiety
In the Audobon Society
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With our games
They call it impiety
And lack of propriety
And quite a variety of unpleasant names
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon
So if Sunday you're free
Why don't you come with me
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park
And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park
We'll murder them amid laughter and merriment
Except for the few we take home to experiment
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon
It just takes a smidgin
To poison a pigeon in the park
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